champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize