i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
