I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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