I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize