She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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