Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
