he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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