No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
