; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
