Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
