She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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