you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
