i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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