is wine microwaveable?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
