Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
