Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
