If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
