his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
