I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
