May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize