WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
