he looks like a really good dad on facebook
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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