She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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