I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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