five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize