I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
