So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
