Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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