Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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