They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
