Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I want a musical about memes.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
