I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
