Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
