We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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