There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
