so that wasnt chicken after all
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
