goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
