I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she peed on how many people?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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