i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
