It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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