Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
