I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
