Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
