They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
