i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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