Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
