went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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