This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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