also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
