Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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