I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
