chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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