Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
if only i could text you this smell
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
