Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
