We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
