every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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