I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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