just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
