Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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