11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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