in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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