you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
