I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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