I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
