So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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