I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
40s are totally the cure
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize