38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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