I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
