You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
