i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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