i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
