i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
