Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
